“We are smart enough not to buy in to the oldest myth running; love. Fiction created by people to keep them from jumping out of windows.” – Gordon Gekko
This is something I’ve been thinking heavily about for a few years now. Even as a child, the whole idea of love and marriage just never sat well with me. The thought I’m pondering is something to which I’ve been trying to find an answer since again, childhood. The thought is: What benefit does a man receive from marriage in American society? By the way, you guys who plan to be entrepreneurs have better read and fully understand the foregoing content because this content could save your fortune.
The marriage arrangement as it currently exists doesn’t benefit the man at all. Your average male is told that he’s supposed to be successful in life, not for himself, but to one day take care of a woman. Not only that, men aren’t being told that marriage is a two-way street in which both parties are supposed to bring something to the table. For a man to seek a woman who’s his equal, whether economically or in some other way, he’s labeled shallow. Instead, that man is told that he has to find a woman who’s in a lowly position and take care of her. Because of that indoctrination, broke women marrying rich or well-off men and divorcing them in order to take half of their assets has become a hustle for women.
With all of that said, again, what benefit does a man receive from this love and marriage arrangement in American society? I want you women who may be reading this to ask yourselves this seriously. The reason I’m posing this question to society, especially women is because a lot of them are wondering why they’re single and having a difficult time changing that. It’s because men are now catching on to the American style of marriage. Its setup only to benefit the woman. A man has to be damn near Superman to please a woman in today’s society and that’s why so many men today have emotional and mental issues… because of the unrealistic burden placed upon men. But society is silent on these issues. At the same time, women aren’t being taught to earn the things they seek. Instead, they’re being taught that they’re entitled to the utmost respect and the finer things in life by way of a man providing them just because they’re a woman.
Now let’s get to what this article is really about.
I remember when I was a teenager. I was in-love with a girl and I was telling an older man that I planned to marry this girl someday. The old man chuckled and asked how’d I plan to make enough money to support a family. Me believing in the westernized idea of marriage at the time, I told him that money wasn’t important because we love each other. The man began to laugh even harder and then said to me, “Young man, I’m gonna tell you like my daddy used to tell me — there is no romance without finance.” He then went on to say that “You don’t marry for love, marriage is for raising children.” At the time, I thought that was a shallow way of looking at things, but now I fully understand what he was telling me.
Let us now talk about family. But first, let me state that marrying for love is a westernized idea. In other nations, marriage is a business arrangement. Both parties bring something to the table (usually both families are well off or both people benefit mutually), and they come together in order to raise a family. Nothing more. Look at some of the celebrities. Why do you think a guy like Jay-Z marries Beyonce? Both have a net worth in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Why does a guy like Will Smith marry Jada Pinkett? There are average everyday women prettier than both Jada and Beyonce and who may also be better women. But its not about that, nor is it about love, its about those two couples combining assets (which Beyonce and Jada has and the average woman don’t) and raising a family… a business deal. That part of society knows what everyday society doesn’t, which is… marrying for love is a fool’s game. Marrying for love is why the American divorce rates are so dismal. Marrying for love is just not natural, especially when there’s only one party receiving all the benefits… the woman.
Think of it this way — LOVE is an emotion. One of the most powerful of human emotions. A decision like marriage, one that is going to affect you for the rest of your life, requires the use of rational, logical analysis. You can’t depend on an emotion (love) to make a decision such as whom you’re going to marry. If you just want to be in-love, your best bet is to remain in a relationship. Marriage on the other hand is where things get real. This is when your relationship becomes legally binding and whether you realize it or not, by law, what you have becomes her and vice versa. Marrying for love can cause you to overlook fatal flaws in a person. The woman may overlook the fact that the guy is lazy and won’t work, despite being a nice guy. The guy, due to thinking w/ the love emotion, may overlook signs that the woman would not make a great mother for his children.
I’ve encountered many married couples who have been married for longer than I’ve been alive. Some of you may have grandparents like this and you believe they married for love, but not entirely. During those times, a woman had something to bring to the table that the man couldn’t bring and vice versa, and they got together and started families. For instance, the man may have been a good provider. He got up everyday and went to work and had no problem supporting his wife and children. The woman, while she may not have worked a job, she stayed home and cared for the children and took care of the home altogether. Under that agreement, their marriages flourished for decades. I have no doubt that they loved each other but love ALONE wasn’t the reason they decided to marry. The man would not have married the woman had she not shown the ability to be a great mother and the woman would not have married the man if he hadn’t shown the ability to be a great provider. Why do you think that traditionally, the man gives his daughter away at the wedding? That symbolizes the father turning over the responsibility of PROVIDING for his daughter over to the husband. This is also why, back in the days, fathers used to size up their daughter’s husband-to-be — because the father understood that marriage is a business arrangement and that the husband-to-be has to bring something to the table. You also had mothers who’d size up their son’s wife-to-be and if she didn’t show that she was suited to be a good mother and take care of the home, the mother wouldn’t approve.
I know some of you aren’t going to want to hear this because as a woman, you receive all the benefits of marriage as we know it. But that idea of love and marriage is why you’re single…because men are waking up. What motive is there for a man to entertain the idea of marriage if only one person is receiving all the benefits of that relationship? Don’t believe me? For starters, stop your average woman and ask her what she desires in a man and I can almost guarantee you that she will have a bunch of outrageous demands, but she won’t be able to offer even one-tenth of the things she’s asking for. Plain and simple — marriage is a business transaction in which the two parties come together to combine assets and raise a family. Nothing more. That’s my take on love and marriage in America. My view is brutal, its unorthodox, but you can’t deny that that’s how things are…