Why Modern-Day Marriage Is A Joke

“We are smart enough not to buy in to the oldest myth running; love. Fiction created by people to keep them from jumping out of windows.” – Gordon Gekko

This is something I’ve been thinking heavily about for a few years now. Even as a child, the whole idea of love and marriage just never sat well with me. The thought I’m pondering is something to which I’ve been trying to find an answer since again, childhood. The thought is: What benefit does a man receive from marriage in American society? By the way, you guys who plan to be entrepreneurs have better read and fully understand the foregoing content because this content could save your fortune.

The marriage arrangement as it currently exists doesn’t benefit the man at all. Your average male is told that he’s supposed to be successful in life, not for himself, but to one day take care of a woman. Not only that, men aren’t being told that marriage is a two-way street in which both parties are supposed to bring something to the table. For a man to seek a woman who’s his equal, whether economically or in some other way, he’s labeled shallow. Instead, that man is told that he has to find a woman who’s in a lowly position and take care of her. Because of that indoctrination, broke women marrying rich or well-off men and divorcing them in order to take half of their assets has become a hustle for women.

With all of that said, again, what benefit does a man receive from this love and marriage arrangement in American society? I want you women who may be reading this to ask yourselves this seriously. The reason I’m posing this question to society, especially women is because a lot of them are wondering why they’re single and having a difficult time changing that. It’s because men are now catching on to the American style of marriage. Its setup only to benefit the woman. A man has to be damn near Superman to please a woman in today’s society and that’s why so many men today have emotional and mental issues… because of the unrealistic burden placed upon men. But society is silent on these issues. At the same time, women aren’t being taught to earn the things they seek. Instead, they’re being taught that they’re entitled to the utmost respect and the finer things in life by way of a man providing them just because they’re a woman.

Now let’s get to what this article is really about.

I remember when I was a teenager. I was in-love with a girl and I was telling an older man that I planned to marry this girl someday. The old man chuckled and asked how’d I plan to make enough money to support a family. Me believing in the westernized idea of marriage at the time, I told him that money wasn’t important because we love each other. The man began to laugh even harder and then said to me, “Young man, I’m gonna tell you like my daddy used to tell me — there is no romance without finance.” He then went on to say that “You don’t marry for love, marriage is for raising children.” At the time, I thought that was a shallow way of looking at things, but now I fully understand what he was telling me.

Let us now talk about family. But first, let me state that marrying for love is a westernized idea. In other nations, marriage is a business arrangement. Both parties bring something to the table (usually both families are well off or both people benefit mutually), and they come together in order to raise a family. Nothing more. Look at some of the celebrities. Why do you think a guy like Jay-Z marries Beyonce? Both have a net worth in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Why does a guy like Will Smith marry Jada Pinkett? There are average everyday women prettier than both Jada and Beyonce and who may also be better women. But its not about that, nor is it about love, its about those two couples combining assets (which Beyonce and Jada has and the average woman don’t) and raising a family… a business deal. That part of society knows what everyday society doesn’t, which is… marrying for love is a fool’s game. Marrying for love is why the American divorce rates are so dismal. Marrying for love is just not natural, especially when there’s only one party receiving all the benefits… the woman.

Think of it this way — LOVE is an emotion. One of the most powerful of human emotions. A decision like marriage, one that is going to affect you for the rest of your life, requires the use of rational, logical analysis. You can’t depend on an emotion (love) to make a decision such as whom you’re going to marry. If you just want to be in-love, your best bet is to remain in a relationship. Marriage on the other hand is where things get real. This is when your relationship becomes legally binding and whether you realize it or not, by law, what you have becomes her and vice versa. Marrying for love can cause you to overlook fatal flaws in a person. The woman may overlook the fact that the guy is lazy and won’t work, despite being a nice guy. The guy, due to thinking w/ the love emotion, may overlook signs that the woman would not make a great mother for his children.

I’ve encountered many married couples who have been married for longer than I’ve been alive. Some of you may have grandparents like this and you believe they married for love, but not entirely. During those times, a woman had something to bring to the table that the man couldn’t bring and vice versa, and they got together and started families. For instance, the man may have been a good provider. He got up everyday and went to work and had no problem supporting his wife and children. The woman, while she may not have worked a job, she stayed home and cared for the children and took care of the home altogether. Under that agreement, their marriages flourished for decades. I have no doubt that they loved each other but love ALONE wasn’t the reason they decided to marry. The man would not have married the woman had she not shown the ability to be a great mother and the woman would not have married the man if he hadn’t shown the ability to be a great provider. Why do you think that traditionally, the man gives his daughter away at the wedding? That symbolizes the father turning over the responsibility of PROVIDING for his daughter over to the husband. This is also why, back in the days, fathers used to size up their daughter’s husband-to-be — because the father understood that marriage is a business arrangement and that the husband-to-be has to bring something to the table. You also had mothers who’d size up their son’s wife-to-be and if she didn’t show that she was suited to be a good mother and take care of the home, the mother wouldn’t approve.

I know some of you aren’t going to want to hear this because as a woman, you receive all the benefits of marriage as we know it. But that idea of love and marriage is why you’re single…because men are waking up. What motive is there for a man to entertain the idea of marriage if only one person is receiving all the benefits of that relationship? Don’t believe me? For starters, stop your average woman and ask her what she desires in a man and I can almost guarantee you that she will have a bunch of outrageous demands, but she won’t be able to offer even one-tenth of the things she’s asking for. Plain and simple — marriage is a business transaction in which the two parties come together to combine assets and raise a family. Nothing more. That’s my take on love and marriage in America. My view is brutal, its unorthodox, but you can’t deny that that’s how things are…

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4 thoughts on “Why Modern-Day Marriage Is A Joke

  1. Hello Sean,
    My first question to you is, would you ever like to marry at some point in your life?
    Be mindful, that the alternative to marriage is, dating, and sleeping with various people, and subjecting yourself to a higher chance of std’s, or if you find a woman who is cool with being your girlfriend for the next 20 to 30 years, at some point it will be considered a “common law marriage” in many states if you live together for a considerable length of time.
    I do agree with many of your statements. It’s true that in the US, marriage does benefit the woman more than the man due to the laws and statutes with regards to child rearing.
    Judge Mabelline once stated that the reason why it seems like the courts tend to favor women with children, is inevitably to protect the children. Because most times the woman retains custody of the children, and is the primary caretaker, it’s for this reason that she gets child support.
    However, the law does not literally say women only get child support, even if she does not gain custody of her children. The truth is, men can get child support just like women can. However, they typically don’t need it as much as women do, especially ones who have been stay at home moms. The judge also said, men usually forego child support in most divorce cases, again because they don’t really need the money. A coworker of mine has full custody of his son. He chose to not file for any type of monetary support from his ex-wife because he didn’t need it. He’s former military and makes six figures. There was no reason for him to get money from her, especially since he made a lot more money than she did. Men do have the same rights as women do. The laws apply to Everyone, not just a specific race or sex. The problem is they’re not enforced, or utilized by everyone. Not women’s fault.
    I think most people, including lawmakers, judges, and everyone in the legal field are aware that many marriage laws are very out-dated. It takes money and time though to change laws. So many that’s why it hasn’t happened just yet. It’s a very slow process, but I think changes will come.
    Another thing to be mindful of, just like “not all men are dogs,” not all women are gold-diggers out to get a mans money. Some women, (like myself) are very giving, loving, kind, and generous. We know how to love a good man right. We know how to make his house a home. We know how to make him feel like a king every day and nite, and love him like a rock. From what Beyoncé’s former group members say about her, and people close to her, she is actually an amazing wife. They say she caters to Jay-Z’s every want and need. If you listen to her music that’s what she sings about. Catering to her man, being his everything. I believe she probably does actually apply those things to her marriage.
    Please do not generalize your opinions of women Sean. Unfortunately, maybe you’ve come across more women like the ones that you describe in this blog piece. These women do not represent All women. There are some great wonderful women out there, who actually do make wonderful wives. I’ll also go out on a limb and say, they’re are many non-black women who make wonderful wives. I’m not opposed to broadening your horizons and dating outside of your race. You may find the person your most compatible with. I know that All men are not liars and cheaters and dogs. In my lifetime I’ve met wonderful honest, loyal, and faithful men.
    Also, from a biblical standpoint, marriage was created upon to give man a helpmate, and companion. Per the bible, Adam requested companionship from God. He requested someone he could see, and touch. He was not content with Gods company alone.
    So God created woman for man. He designed her in such a way that she could please him in many ways, and assist him. They could procreate and populate the earth.
    In other countries marriages are arranged due to religious beliefs and teachings, as well as to continue the family legacy and carry on family names.
    This country is run like a business. It’s run much like a Corporation. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that in this country, some people treat marriage as a “business arrangement.” However, that does not mean that everyone subscribes to this ideology.
    One benefit you may have forgotten that marriage definitely has in this country is pretty substantial tax breaks, which you see fairly quickly after filing for your marriage license.
    This US also promotes marriage and children because the powers that be know that 2 people in a marriage spend a lot more money than single people. Two people with children spend even more money. So they contribute to the cyclical process and growth of the economy.

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  2. So as much as I understand your thinking on marriage. I also disagree with you opinions.
    I think once you find a compatible person, and if you marry the right person for you, then you will see all of the wonderful benefits to married life.
    Honestly, marriage typically only really sucks for people who marry the wrong people, for the wrong reasons. Or people who aren’t happy within themselves to begin with, and should never have gotten married.
    If you find people in a happy, healthy, and well adjusted marriage, they will give you a very different perspective. Talk to people at different levels, and with different views on marriage before you form a permanent opinion on love, and marriage.

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